The Black Dahlia

Well, I just wasted two hours of my life that I want back. My other Netflix movie came in today, The Black Dahlia. I heard it had sucked, had read all of the bad reviews, but I was still curious. The murder of Elizabeth Short in L.A. in 1947 always intrigued me and I have read far too many books about the infamous and unsolved crime. I think I was curious about it was because to me, Elizabeth Short could have been me or any other girl. She was young and had dreams and had made a few mistakes in the process but what twenty-something girl hasn't made mistakes? Her story is tragic and I stupidely thought that a movie named after her would be about her. Boy, was I wrong.

The Black Dahlia, directed by the otherwise kick-ass Brian De Palma, is just a two hour excuse for some actors to play dressup and stumble throughout scenes. I normally like Josh Hartnett, and not just because we share the same birthday, but I think I have seen planks of wood act better than he did in this movie. Elizabeth Short aka The Black Dahlia gets shoved into the background as Hilary Swank's horrible fake accent and Scarlett Johansson's pouty red lips takes over the plot. The ending is so ludicrous, so ridiculous, I almost laughed. When Josh Hartnett's character, Bucky, finally "solves" the murder, it isn't even that big of a deal, or much of a climax. And why should it be? The past two hours had nothing to do with Elizabeth Short. Why did anyone in the movie expect us to care about her killer? Not even Bucky, who supposedly had become obsessed about the case, seemed that much moved by the discovery. The killer of Elizabeth Short was never found. And I'm sure that if he was as stupid as the huge conspiracy cover-up of the killers in this piece of crap movie, in reality he would have been caught the next day.

I really wanted this movie to be good. I wanted them to look at this young woman, and remember that she was a young woman, and examine both her life and her tragic and brutal death. Instead, I got cardboard, accents and red lips. Thank you to the cast and crew of The Black Dahlia. You have once again reminded everyone that movies being made are no longer good. I suppose I have to put all of my hope now into Zodiac coming out later this year.